After five painfully long seasons, ‘Jersey Shore‘ will begin its sixth and final season this fall. Maybe it’s because Snooki had a baby and things are starting to get real. Maybe it’s because the ratings have started dropping and show no signs of stopping. Or maybe it’s because this show is terrible. Regardless, we thought we’d pay tribute by reminding you of some of the terrible commercials the show’s “stars” have done over the years. No matter if the subject is safe sex or diet pills, they are all awful.
If you’re planning to win the hand of an Olympic gymnast who doesn’t even know you, it’s going to take a little bit more than some candy, we just learned. A fan got down on one knee (good start) and pulled out a Ring Pop (aaaand there it goes) before asking Aly Raisman if she would marry him. Mighty presumptuous of this guy, although, to be fair, she did take the candy.
Try not to get too depressed that the Beanie Baby guy is a billionaire — at least he’s using his money for good, rather than evil. Ty Warner recently gave a woman who was trying to raise money for a medical procedure $20,000 for giving him directions.
When the First Lady says she’s serious about healthy food, the First Lady means she is serious about healthy food. Even the First Dog, Bo, is not beyond reproach, and, after packing on a few pounds, is now on a diet. Yes, the dog is on a diet.
Well, we were feeling pretty proud of ourselves for finally looking up that Couch to 5k thing, but it’s going to take a little more than that to impress Phillippe Croizon. The quadruple amputee has made history by swimming intercontinental straits linking Oceania, Asia, Europe, America and Africa.
In other depressing news, an Honorary Professor of Linguistics has gone ahead and put “chillax” on the list of the 100 words that have helped define the English language throughout history. Lord help us all, we thought people only said it as a joke to make fun of the people who actually say it (who don’t actually exist, right?).
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